About a month ago or so I was determined to change my focus from all grief to actually living my life after babyloss. I was ready to discover who I am again. I want to find joy and not always be sad. So I created a list of ideas. It was helpful! And I am happy to say I have been busy living out the items on my list. I hope to update them now.
List of ideas for Project Heal
- Take a photography class — I am really excited about this one! ACCOMPLISHED
I loved taking the online photography course Illuminate. It was an amazing photo-healing class that encouraged me to use my camera to move forward, change focus and learn about photography. I am thrilled with the outcome. I actually completed all of my assignments using a wordpress blog with the same name as my blogger blog. Now I need to decide how to merge the two. But I really love just how amazing the photos look in wordpress. Do you want to see all of my assignments than visit my blog created for Illuminate assignments here.
- Attend the Designed For Life women’s conference ATTENDED
The Designed For Life women’s conference in Springfield, MO was amazing. I was able to go away for three days I was able to go away for 3 days and be immersed with girlfriends, fun, shopping, happy rings, and God. The title of the conference I attended was “Designed for Life: A Love Story.” The theme was intended to allow me to share my story of my life while intimately experiencing the love of my Heavenly Father. I experienced life in a bubble where I could get in touch with my feelings, thoughts, and fears in a very protected setting. I experienced songs, teachings, and pampering that spoke to my spirit. And one exciting part for me in that was being able to let go of some of the guilt and shame of grief that has been weighing me down. I was able to feel loved by God and hear of promises He is so graciously will to share over me. I connected deeper with women who have become special friends since my loss.
I was able to open my eyes to the tiniest of details of living. I was surrounded by new babies and was able to glance at them without deep pain. I was able to receive the blessing of my children. I was able to hear the words “Children need mommy’s who are happy” “Husbands need wives who are confident” “Brothers need Sisters who are beautiful” and believe that inside me I have what it takes to choose to be that mommy, wife, and sister! I was able to laugh really hard until I cried as a speaker from Australia spoke the words due date, estrogen, and awesome in a cool Australian accent. I felt my spirit lift at as the speakers shared funny stories and deep truths. I came back home with a content heart and I couldn’t wait to love on my husband and children. I felt so loved by them as they shared “welcome home mommy” cookies and lots of snuggles. I was able to recognize pure joy in my heart as my three year old wrapped his arms around my neck.
- Take a Walk by myself Yep did that too!
One of the neat experiences of the Illuminate photography course was that it insisted that I walk outside my house and look for photos to compose. I have been enjoy daily walks by myself with camera in hand. It gives me a chance to clear my mind and really enjoy the beauty that God created. It helps me be thankful for all the blessing God has given in my life. A grateful heart and some excerise have been good my spirit.
And there is still more Project Heal on the horizon. Here are some items that remain and maybe I need to come with a few more ideas.
- Read a book with my oldest daughter–her pick
- Take a walk with a friend
- Try something new
- Create a peaceful place
- Listen to Christian music and dive into devotion with God